As you get more skilled at influence, you’ll recognise that it is best to get a clear understanding of those you are seeking to influence. As I’ve said many times before, walking in their shoes, truly understanding what makes them tick is essential – if you are to be skilled at optimising your approach.
A subtle aspect of this is missed by many, especially those who are more experienced.
The problem comes from the skill of judgement. As the years roll by, the experience stacks up, we all get better at this fine art. Unfortunately, this opens us up to three major risks.
Firstly, when you judge, you can will most likely do so from your perspective, based on your knowledge, experience and wisdom. Which may, or may not, be right for them. That is would be right if you were in their place is true, but they are not you. So you risk arriving at the wrong judgement.
Secondly, when you are good at making judgements about people, you’ll have all your beliefs at work filtering the information coming in. Without noticing it, your values and biases will warp what you see. Another reason why your judgement may be wide of the mark.
Finally, you’ll likely damage the relationship. We all like and need feedback, but deep down we don’t like being judged. Indeed, you don’t even need to voice your judgement for others to start picking up that you are judging them. They will notice that quizzical look, or the raised eyebrow.
Naturally, we all have to make judgements all of the time. At the advanced level though, suspending judgement long enough to get sufficient accurate information enables us to manage down these risks.
Additionally, it helps you to build enough empathy and understanding that will give you clues about how best to convey your views without damaging the relationship. Along with the inbuilt aversion to being judged, we all share a deep desire to be understood.
Related to Judgement
Ref: BIL12